Obama Administration’s Top 10 Tactics to Squeeze Information From Detainees
WastedCarbon.com has obtained a copy of the Obama administration’s latest methods to extract information from detainees and enemy combatants. Some of these techniques are not for the faint-of-heart. Please remember, these people are our enemies and the information they may have could save American lives.
10. No more pillow-top mattresses it they don’t start talking.
9. Place severe limitations on the number of allowable text messages they can send each month.
8. Threaten mandatory use of deodorant and razors.
7. Ask them every day until they spill-the-beans (be sure to say “please”).
6. Tell them that “all the cool terrorists are talking.”
5. Threaten to cancel the ice cream social if they do not cooperate.
4. Tell them that they “will be your best friend” if they give you the information.
3. Threaten to “tell their mother” on them.
2. Deny them internet access and iPods for one week.
1. No information, no dessert.
