Kim Jung Il’s Private Twitter Updates
Wasted Carbon Breaking News!
Wasted Carbon has gained exclusive access to Kim Jung Il’s private Twitter updates. These tweets were posted just two days ago and give an unprecidented view into the life of this reclusive nation’s leader.
6:22 AM: Woke up… Feeling kinda’ down – like whole world is against me.
6:45 AM: Kicked peasent slave boy out of bed…
7:04 AM: Fruit Loops for breakfast! My favorite!
8:12 AM: Got dressed – went with my tan jumper… Wish we had a Gap near by.
9:43 AM: Daily status meeting… BOOORING!!!
10:23 AM: Tortured and killed that stupid General who questioned me in meeting… Feeling better 
11:06 AM: Playtime!
11:45 AM: Attending pre-lunch briefing on nuclear program – hid a matchbox car in pocket
12:06 PM: Found hair in my mac-n-cheese – Gross. Had chef’s family executed…
1:00 PM: Nap time – BOOOO!
2:30 PM: Watching Sharky’s Machine – thinking of growing a mustache.
4:45 PM: Observing test of latest bio-bomb on remote peasent village – worked.
5:35 PM: Taunting nations of the world with more nuke threats – hee-hee
6:15 PM: Dinner time… Had Applebee’s takeout flown in. Good eats baby!
7:26 PM: Horrible gas from Applebee’s takeout – no Pepto left in entire country. Sticking to kimchi from now on.
8:00 PM: Sweet weed… Playing Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” while watching “The Wizard of Oz” – TOTALLY SYNCS UP!!!
9:45 PM: Starting new chapter… What will that amazing Harry Potter do next?
10:24 PM: All tucked in… lights out. Nite Nite
